You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
not ubering you a puppy
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
