I think scott just propositioned me for sex
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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