Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
