found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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