What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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