I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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