wat bout pragnant strippers??
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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