Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
