there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Houston, we have a squirter
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
