there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
