Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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