ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize