is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
