As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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