im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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