i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
