I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize