My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
People in love make me want to vomit
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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