i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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