so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
