I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
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Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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