I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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