last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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