Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
