We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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