Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
