new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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