I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
