Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
