Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
