What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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