How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
