I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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