God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
