Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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