apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
