Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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