i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
