scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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