I'm really into asian looking animals
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
