he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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