The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
