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True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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