Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
