that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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