It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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