she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
