Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
