Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
