also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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