Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
