I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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