She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
bring money and cleavage
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
