exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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