Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
