i think my tv is drunk
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
