he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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