I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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