New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
