Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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