"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize