I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
