Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
