he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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