As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
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