i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
