I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
