and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
